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Darna sucks. Period.


The “new” Darna show started airing at the Kapuso network GMA-7 last August 17, 2009. Starring Marian Rivera as the newest incarnation of this Filipino superheroine and after
four days of watching the show, I couldn’t help but wonder why they even bothered showing “re-incarnating” this very tired genre on local television. After seeing very revealing
pictures of the new Darna spreading around the internets like wild-fire, wha-? You haven’t seen this photos yet?
Okay, now that you’ve seen what sparked my curiousity (and I bet yours too!), I gave this sorry-ass show a shot. Was I disapponted? More than ever. And here’s a short list why:
(Cue: Horror Piano Riffs)
1. WHY MAKE ANOTHER ONE?
With more than a dozen incarnations of the arguably most famous Pinoy superheroine, I bet Dolphy and Ate V’s version was much more entertaining!  (Especially if you already did
one four years ago! That’s not even enough to make me forget Angel Locsin’s curves yet. You know what I mean.)
I just don’t see a perfectly sane reason why you should recreate or rehash something unless:
-You’re going to do a much better job.
-You know that the material is from a different era that it’s nice to give it a fresh new look.
-Lastly, that you’re going to give it justice.
Out of three, I give this re-make a big resounding ZERO. (More reasons below.)
2.Angel Locsin is so much hotter than Marian Rivera. ‘Nuff said.
3. I’d rather watch the “original” and so much cooler superheroine. Did I say original?
4. Get better writers.
The writing is so lame. (Paging, Jun Lana) So lame in fact that my migraine starts the moment the show starts airing. The characters are so flawed, the pacing is predictable and
the superheroine is an idiot.
Example 1:
According to the Guardian of the Snowbear aka White Stone, to beat the Babaeng Impakta (When it should’ve been ImpaktaS, they’re twins.) she should separate the two. Our heroine
does just that, and the more human “Impakta” faints (WTF?), the monster (presumably the Impakta they are referring to) flies away (WTF again?!), Darna regains her flying power
by literally punching it out of the villain! I’m no master of the superhero genre but that is just plain stupid.
Example 2:
Before Narda accepted the stone, the Guardian is “forced” to surrender the Snowbear aka the White Stone to the four villains. In effect, the four gets warped in a different
dimension, gets a slice of Darna’s power, giving them the additional “edge” for their glorious revenge. Nifty…
Example 3:
Back to the Impakta incident, the moment the “monster” and Darna was about to square off and after uttering several lines of rubbish, a couple of reporters arive at the scene.
Our heroine gets distracted by the camera flash (She’s shy daw kasi.), the monster succesfullt escapes in a split-second, running using it’s teeney-tiny legs. Take note: the
monster didn’t even need to fly. Just amazing. (And I’m being sarcastic here.)
5. Make up your mind!
I’m just confused, I’m not really sure what they want us to think? Is this a drama? A comedy show? Make up your mind! The side characters were obviously cast for comic relief.
The News Editor, played by Raymart Santiago, has three bumbling employees. Mark Anthony Fernandez, playing as Narda’s love interest, also has the very funny (not!) Bearwin
Meilly as an assistant. The oh-so-dramatic scenes between Narda, Valentina and whatever-Mark’s-character-name-is love triangle doesn’t add much entertainment value either. My
advice? Stick to your strong points. This is supposed to be a superhero show right?
6. “Mas matitinding special effects!”
What special effects? The flapping wings? The extending vines? The extending (again) limbs of the Impakta? The whirlwind effects? What’s new?! Nothing.
7. Where’s Ding?
It’s the fourth episode tonight and we haven’t seen this annoying kid yet! I though they were supposed to be orphaned siblings? Hmmm… Budget cuts,anyone?
8. What? You were actually looking for a number 8? Gee, according to a recent psychological study I made up, 7 reasons should justify how much a show sucks.
9. Just to make this list complete: Facebook apps are so much better than this show.
Play Mafia Wars, plant vegetables on your farm,or go “all in” in online poker! I’m just dumbfounded how more entertaining this online games are compared to Marian Rivera’s high
flying character.
10. Rehashing = couldn’t think of something else = desperation
And with these three “ideas” summarizing what this show is about, you couldn’t expect something good ever coming out of it.

The “new” Darna show started airing at the Kapuso network GMA-7 last August 17, 2009. Starring Marian Rivera as the newest incarnation of this Filipino superheroine and just after four days of watching the show, I couldn’t help but wonder why they even bothered showing “reincarnating” this very tired genre on local television. After seeing very revealing pictures of the new Darna spreading around the internets like wild-fire, wha-? You haven’t seen these photos yet?

Okay, now that you’ve seen what sparked my curiosity (and I bet yours too!), I gave this sorry-ass show a shot. Was I disappointed? More than ever. I’ve compiled a short list below so read on!

1. WHY MAKE ANOTHER ONE?

With more than a dozen incarnations of the arguably most famous Pinoy super-heroine, I bet Dolphy and Ate V’s version was much more entertaining!  (Especially if you already did one four years ago! That’s not even enough to make me forget Angel Locsin’s curves yet. You know what I mean.) I just don’t see a perfectly sane reason why you should recreate or rehash something unless:

  • You’re going to do a much better job.
  • You know that the material is from a different era that it’s nice to give it a fresh new look.
  • Lastly, that you’re going to give it justice.

Out of three, I give this re-make a big resounding ZERO. (More reasons below.)

2.Angel Locsin is so much hotter than Marian Rivera. ‘Nuff said.

3. I’d rather watch the “original” and so much cooler superheroine. Did I say original?

Coincidence? You decide.

Coincidence? You decide.

4. Get better writers.

The writing is so lame. (Paging, Jun Lana) So lame in fact that my migraine starts the moment the show starts airing. The characters are so flawed, the pacing is predictable and the super-heroine is an idiot.

Example 1:

According to the Guardian of the Snowbear aka White Stone, to beat the Babaeng Impakta (When it should’ve been ImpaktaS, they’re twins.) she should separate the two. Our heroine does just that, and the more human “Impakta” faints (WTF?), the monster (presumably the Impakta they are referring to) flies away (WTF again?!), Darna regains her flying power by literally punching it out of the villain! I’m no master of the superhero genre but that is just plain stupid.

Example 2:

Before Narda accepted the stone, the Guardian is “forced” to surrender the Snowbear aka the White Stone to the four villains. In effect, the four gets warped in a different dimension, gets a slice of Darna’s power, giving them the additional “edge” for their glorious revenge. Nifty…

Example 3:

Back to the Impakta incident, the moment the “monster” and Darna was about to square off and after uttering several lines of rubbish, a couple of reporters arive at the scene. Our heroine actually gets distracted by the camera flash (She’s shy daw kasi.), the monster succesfullt escapes in a split-second, running using it’s teeney-tiny legs.  (Take note: the monster doesn’t have flying powers anymore . ) Just amazing. (And I’m being sarcastic here.)

5. Make up your mind!

I’m just confused, I’m not really sure what they want us to think? Is this a drama? A comedy show? Make up your mind! The side characters were obviously cast for comic relief. The News Editor, played by Raymart Santiago, has three bumbling employees while Mark Anthony Fernandez, playing as Narda’s love interest, also has the very funny (not!) Bearwin Meilly as an assistant. The oh-so-dramatic scenes between Narda, Valentina and whatever-Mark’s-character-name-is love triangle doesn’t add much entertainment value either.

My advice? Stick to your strong points. This is supposed to be a superhero show right?

6. “Mas matitinding special effects!”

What special effects? The flapping wings? The extending vines? The extending (again) limbs of the Impakta? The whirlwind effects? What’s new?! Nothing.

7. Where’s Ding?

It’s the fourth episode tonight and we haven’t seen this annoying kid yet! I though they were supposed to be orphaned siblings? Hmmm… Budget cuts, anyone?

8. What? You were actually looking for a number 8?

Gee, according to a recent psychological study I made up, 7 reasons should justify how much a show sucks.

9. Just to make this list complete: Facebook apps are so much better than this show.

Play Mafia Wars, plant vegetables on your farm,or go “all in” in online poker! I’m just dumbfounded how more entertaining this online games are compared to Marian Rivera’s high flying character.

10. Rehashing = couldn’t think of something else = desperation

And with these three “ideas” summarizing what this show is about, you couldn’t expect something good ever coming out of it.

Tell me what you think!

PBA09rr1noop

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16 responses

  1. Would you be interested in exchanging blogrolls links with my site? Please email me if you are interested

    August 20, 2009 at 10:43 PM

  2. Amen to this dude! Can’t add more. I’ve not seen it yet but I know it sucks (well, everything “Marian” is a no-no for me). And in this partisan country, i’m the Kapamilya boat… hehe

    August 23, 2009 at 1:06 AM

  3. Amen to this dude! Can’t add more. I’ve not seen it yet but I know it sucks (well, everything “Marian” is a no-no for me). And in this partisan country, i’m the Kapamilya boat… hehe

    just a note, u’r too keen to details…u must be an avid viewer…hehe

    August 23, 2009 at 1:20 AM

    • Actually, I watched that show with “optimism”. I know that it’ll suck but I still gave it a chance. After 4 days of watching it, I’ve noticed several patterns of nuisances and idiot ideas. So for that particular episode, I took note of the scenes (I couldn’t transcribe the whole show can I? Ha!) which best exemplifies the opposite of excellence. (LOL!) And for the record, I’m not a Kapamilya nor a Kapuso either! Ahaha!

      August 23, 2009 at 10:09 AM

  4. sakin ok lang bagong version ng Darna… anyway, it doesnt matter naman much sa kin, basta enjoy mga anak ko..🙂 and come on… ohlalal sexy naman talaga si marian

    August 25, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    • Ok lang siguro yung Darna if you’re younger than 13 years old. Aside from than, wala ka ng dapat i-expect from the script, effects, plot and anything that should make sense. BTW, I didn’t say anything about Marian not being sexy. LOL!

      August 25, 2009 at 12:25 PM

  5. darna mania

    sorry haters. Darna is the number 1 show now. :p

    September 13, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    • Now THAT why the end is near. LOL!

      September 13, 2009 at 12:10 PM

    • this guy over here is part of the dumb society…hehe

      September 14, 2009 at 10:49 PM

      • Darna fan?

        September 15, 2009 at 1:18 PM

  6. It sux

    +1 for the “idiot” part.🙂

    September 14, 2009 at 4:50 PM

  7. +1 for agreeing with me. ^_^

    September 14, 2009 at 9:21 PM

  8. you’d wish they just pour in all that money and make one kick-ass DARNA with better sfx (and a better story)🙂

    btw, I just wanted to share a story I wrote.

    This is my tribute / homage to Mars Ravelos’ great creation:

    http://tresekomix.blogspot.com/2006/04/our-secret-constellation-complete.html
    🙂

    September 20, 2009 at 3:01 PM

    • Yeah, my only real wish is that they give justice to the character and writing a BETTER story is a good place to start. (Hello writers?)

      Thanks for dropping by Sir Budjette!

      September 20, 2009 at 11:14 PM

  9. krabat

    great writeup on how darna really sucks big time…

    September 24, 2009 at 12:11 PM

  10. I’m glad this show is going to be over soon.

    GMA 7 is a business. They bought the rights to Darna. So they’re just maximizing their investment. But come one, can’t they hire better writers?

    The script sucks! Even with an excellent actor like Ricky Davao, you can’t miss how unpolished the script is.

    One advise to Filipino script writers in general: show, don’t tell.

    February 9, 2010 at 8:42 PM

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