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holy week survival guide 2


What a day! My comrades ditched me on what was supposed to be Number #6 on our list, a Prayer Meeting/ Inuman Session. Pfft! Well, here it goes:

TIP #6 Prayer Meeting/Inuman/Videoke

For this one, you can actually do this by yourself! (But it is much too depressing.)

What you need:

A cellphone (With load of course!)

An Old School Landline

Beer/ Gin/ Whiskey/ Whatever-Alcoholic-Drink-You-Can-Grab

You favorite pulutan. (Sisig!)

Guitar/ Videoke is optional.

You can contact your friends who’s also on the same boat as you. However, it may be a daunting task. Why?

Consider this: they were also ditched by friends and family, they have no money to buy prepaid load to reply to your messages, they lost the ability to use a regular phone due to too much texting, and they are still sulking in the corner like you.

Let’s CRUNCH some NUMBERS!

But don’t give up! Out of 18 people you may contact, you may have:

a 10% chance of getting a ‘Yes’,

a 20% No‘ replywith a bunch of STUPID alibis,

and 70% chance of getting ignored. Still, that’s two persons! Better than having none.

If ever you are lucky enough to pull enough people to join you in your misery err.. cause, make sure: everyone brings something (the more booze, the merrier!), you don’t get too loud (it’s Holy Week, remember?), and try to be discreet. (I advise that you stay indoors at this time, old folks might literally crucify you for your evildoings.)

Old school! Yeah!

Old school! Yeah!

TIP# 7 Use your Remote!

Fine, fine… You miss Wowowee, Eat Bulaga, or whatever crap noontime show you are usually watching. Your loyalty to a specific channel would not help you at this point. (Ehem… Kapuso? Kapamilya? WTF?)

Slowly take your remote control, yes, it is not just to turn the TV on and off, adjustingthe volume and nothing else. You can actually switch channels! YES, YOU CAN SWITCH CHANNELS. It is not a sin. I repeat, it is not a SIN.

After lifting up your remote, point it toward your television set and press Five twice. (Yes, start from a higher numbered cable channel so that you’d lose the urge of going back to 2 or 7, when you start on a lower numbered channel.) Then, start going down the channels. 55- 54- 53- 52- 51 … got it? Fight all urge to press number 2 or 7 once (or whatever cable channel equivalent it may have.)

Yes, you can actually watch movies on channels like HBO and Star Movies 24/7!

TIP # 8 Ragnaro– Wha–??

Try making a character on popular online games like RF Online, Cabal Online and dozens of others. If your friends ditched you in real life, well, good for you, you can find tons and tons of virtual friends. Of course, nothing can compare to real ones, but what the heck! They ditched you right? LOL.

TIP # 9 Advance!! (This one is for cubers…)

You already know how to solve the cube in N seconds, you can solve it One-Handed, know all the PLL’s and OLL’s there is to know, etc… Why not learn a more advanced technique or puzzle?

Try learning blindfold solving (like me), know more about commutators, solve a megaminx or a big cube, and teach your friends. I assure you, when you get back to your regular 3×3 cube, you’d be so much better.Having better recognition and execution, better look ahead in effect, making solving 3×3’s boring… I’m not really sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but it’s all up to you…

TIP # 10 Pray…

Surprised? Don’t be. This is the perfect time to reflect about your life, and your impact on others these past few months.

Did you make them happy? Are you happy? What bad habits would you like to change? Have you been a good son/ daughter? These are some things you can ponder about. And if you forgot how to pray the Holy Rosary, here’s something that might help you:

TIP # 11 Have Fun!

If I’m not mistaken,  this is the only TWO OFFICIAL CONSECUTIVE holidays (Marked RED on the calendar) in the Philippines, so better make good use of it. Bond with your family (if you’re always out working), make amends, contemplate, and relax.

Check out Part 1!


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